dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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