She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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