oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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