Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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