I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize