Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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