ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
