another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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