If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
