On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
