Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
