since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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