She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
