Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
