my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
