Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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