my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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