They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You dont lie about slip and slides
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
