what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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