It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
