five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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