You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
