Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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