I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This is the high leading the old right now
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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