hell yes lets make some ravioli
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
