i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
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