Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
