Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
