ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
