Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
