quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am naked and annoyed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
