You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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