My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
