On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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