Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
