shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
