I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
