I cannot find my penis.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
