WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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