What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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