Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize