I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
