wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize