It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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