Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
