Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
