my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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