He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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