Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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