This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
