Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
someone owes me an orgasm
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
