is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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