I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
