i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
