The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
