I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
