Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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